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‘We need to talk,’ and other phrases that trigger us at work

Words matter, but under stress, many office employees and bosses may say things to co-workers and subordinates they don鈥檛 mean. Or, perhaps it is exactly what they mean, but they shouldn鈥檛 have chosen the words they did.

Language instruction site surveyed almost 1,000 Americans on their experiences with workplace stress and its impact on communication, and 87% admit to using regrettable language under stress.

When asked such as what, there were some common phrases .

鈥溾業 don鈥檛 care,鈥 鈥楴ot my job,鈥 and 鈥楾his is a waste of time.鈥 All of those phrases generally convey a huge lack of empathy, and to a certain extent are a way for someone to really verbally point the finger at the other person,鈥 said Silvia Johnson, head of methodology at Preply.

Others include: 鈥淚’m too busy,鈥 鈥淲ho cares,鈥 鈥淵ou鈥檙e overreacting,鈥 and 鈥淚 knew this would fail.鈥

Stress-induced remarks have consequences.

According to Preply鈥檚 survey, more than two-fifths of those responding said their words, under stress, have sparked misunderstandings or conflicts. More men than women said so. Perhaps unexpectedly, Boomers, the most seasoned workers, were more likely than other generations to find their words leading to conflict.

There are phrases managers use that, rightly, trigger their employees and lead to stress.

鈥溾業 have some bad news,鈥 鈥榃e need to talk,鈥 and 鈥業 expected more from you,鈥欌 Johnson said topped the survey list.

There are better ways to communicate with co-workers when under stress, and with employees, when it comes to negative feedback.

鈥淚f you can articulate your thoughts in your mind before speaking them out loud, it might help you think about how you would want someone to speak to you. There are a couple of phrases that are particularly calming, like 鈥榃e鈥檒l figure it out,鈥 鈥榃e can handle this,鈥 and 鈥業鈥檓 here for you,鈥欌 Johnson said.

Bosses should also immediately follow up with support and potential solutions, instead of just delivering bad news, she said.

Regrettable responses in personal relationships were also noted in Preply鈥檚 report, with the top three being 鈥淚 don鈥檛 care,鈥 鈥淵ou never listen,鈥 and 鈥淚t鈥檚 always about you.鈥

, broken down by industry and age group, as well as other suggestions on how to avoid stress-induced miscommunications, is online.

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Jeff Clabaugh

Jeff Clabaugh has spent 20 years covering the Washington region's economy and financial markets for 海角精品黑料 as part of a partnership with the Washington Business Journal, and officially joined the 海角精品黑料 newsroom staff in January 2016.

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